I love the emotion the speaker uses and the somber mood it creates. Some of the questions throughout the poem are ones that I myself think about a lot. I wonder why the speaker started off with the question of disappearing? Why ask only questions starting off with "Have you ever?" There are a lot of filler words throughout the poem. If you take them out then it would sound smoother! Great job!
I am really impressed by the simplicity of the poem and the way you were able to use the same refrain "Have you ever wondered" in so many different ways. My favorite was the one about "tomorrow not happening." And I really liked the way you tied up the end with wondering if anyone else wonders the same thing "because I know I do." It really creates the sense of music and rhythm that is ideal for this poem. My least favorite line is the one about peace. "Is there someone who can take it away?"- t It seemed awkwardly phrased, and at first sounded like you wanted peace to be taken away. It probably can be easily fixed. Great job!
This is a really thoughtful poem. It reminds me of the poem "The Dash" which talks about how you spend your life. You read this poem really well, your tone forces the reader to really consider the questions that are being asked. I also think the length of your poem was great-if it were shorter, it wouldn't be as strong, but it also wasnt so long that the reader got bored of the questions you were raising. The only thing i would maybe change or edit is the amount of "you"s-it becomes pretty clear that you're addressing the reader and asking them to think about these questions, so this way if you take it out the poem becomes a bit neater. Really excellent job!
I really like the way you continued the pattern of have you ever wondered about something, and how would you personally deal with it and would there be someone else as well. It was interesting to hear the same pattern repeated and almost filled in, but taking on different meanings each time. On thing I noticed was when you mentioned winning the lottery you ask if there will be anyone to share and I think the word "with" is missing there.
I love the emotion the speaker uses and the somber mood it creates. Some of the questions throughout the poem are ones that I myself think about a lot. I wonder why the speaker started off with the question of disappearing? Why ask only questions starting off with "Have you ever?" There are a lot of filler words throughout the poem. If you take them out then it would sound smoother! Great job!
ReplyDeleteI am really impressed by the simplicity of the poem and the way you were able to use the same refrain "Have you ever wondered" in so many different ways. My favorite was the one about "tomorrow not happening." And I really liked the way you tied up the end with wondering if anyone else wonders the same thing "because I know I do." It really creates the sense of music and rhythm that is ideal for this poem. My least favorite line is the one about peace. "Is there someone who can take it away?"- t It seemed awkwardly phrased, and at first sounded like you wanted peace to be taken away. It probably can be easily fixed. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really thoughtful poem. It reminds me of the poem "The Dash" which talks about how you spend your life. You read this poem really well, your tone forces the reader to really consider the questions that are being asked. I also think the length of your poem was great-if it were shorter, it wouldn't be as strong, but it also wasnt so long that the reader got bored of the questions you were raising. The only thing i would maybe change or edit is the amount of "you"s-it becomes pretty clear that you're addressing the reader and asking them to think about these questions, so this way if you take it out the poem becomes a bit neater. Really excellent job!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way you continued the pattern of have you ever wondered about something, and how would you personally deal with it and would there be someone else as well. It was interesting to hear the same pattern repeated and almost filled in, but taking on different meanings each time. On thing I noticed was when you mentioned winning the lottery you ask if there will be anyone to share and I think the word "with" is missing there.
ReplyDelete